Workshops/Speaking/Hosting: Inquire for rates

Ritual Services Work: starts at $475/session

TELL-A-GRAM! Telegram: $225 and up (depending on distance and extras)

Temporary Nuts: $212 for 17 minutes of performed service

Party Guest For Hire: $1420 - $1690/attendee depending on vibe, dress code, time commitment and mileage/travel

Notary Services: $10-$250 (extra fees for flourishes and/or travel)

Advice: $25 for 5 minutes (think Lucy from Peanuts)

Please contact us directly for performances not listed and with any questions.

Generous Benefactors click here.